No family is perfect and, if you are recently divorced, your challenges may be considerably difficult. Even if you had an amicable split, learning how to effectively co-parent after a split will require a period of adjustment and a willingness to cooperate and compromise when necessary. If you still have some wounded feelings lingering from the divorce process, it is crucial not to let them interfere with your ability to co-parent as a team. The fewer conflicts you have, the better the situation will be for your children.
Learning How to Raise Your Children with Your Ex-Spouse
Although the relationship between you and your spouse is over, you still have a common interest – you both want to see your children happy and healthy. Part of achieving this means setting aside your differences and focusing your attention on their best interests rather than on the personal problems you had in the past. If you need an outlet for these feelings, consider hiring a therapist or confiding in a trusted friend. Never vent to your children about their parent.
Here are some other helpful tips for divorced parents:
- Work on creating a consistent routine: When you create a consistent routine for your children in both households, this will actually create fewer conflicts between you and your former spouse. Achieving something you can agree on may take some work, but once you reach an agreement, you will not have to revisit it until your children’s needs change.
- Your children are not messengers: If you need to deliver a message to your co-parent, do not use your children, even if it is a relatively minor issue. Anything can turn into a major argument and do not want to risk your kids being caught in the middle of it.
- Maintain a business-like tone: You probably work with some people you dislike and, for the sake of your job, you maintain a business-like tone. If you are having some difficulties with your former spouse, do not make it personal. Keep your conversations focused on your children and speak to one another in a cordial and respectful manner. Always utilize the BIFF (brief, informative, friendly, and factual) method of communication.
- Learn how to apologize: Arguments are impossible to avoid, whether you are together or divorced. If you are in the wrong, it is important to acknowledge it and give a genuine apology. Doing so can rebuild trust in your co-parenting relationship.
Co-parenting after a divorce can be a difficult task, but if you are both open to communicating and cooperating, you can get past these obstacles.
Reach Out to Our Knowledgeable Family Law Team Today!
If you are experiencing difficulties with your current child custody arrangement, the experienced family law team at Simmons & Associates can provide the knowledgeable legal guidance and compassionate advice you need to get through it. Divorced parents cannot always fix their issues without legal intervention and our team has the skill and insight necessary to assist you.
Contact our law office today at (405) 591-2284 to arrange a consultation with a trusted attorney.
